Posted by: Heather Leigh | December 15, 2009

Sorry, sorry!

Obviously it’s been some time since I’ve posted, and I apologize for taking so long. Last Monday (the 7th) I got my Nulasta shot, which is a blood booster to help my bone marrow produce more new red/white cells since the chemo makes it difficult for it to do it on its own. However it causes intense pain a few days after you get it, and it can last to up to a week. Therefore these past 5 days I’ve been enjoying searing pain that radiates from my bones which then moves throughout my entire body and makes it very difficult for me to even get out of bed.

Yes, even when I take my pain meds, this is how it is. Just bear with me, I’ll be posting regularly again soon!

Oh and I did get my scan results. Unfortunately my Oncologist is unhappy with the quality of the CD scan copy he received from Orange Imaging, and wants to do another set of scans during my next chemo cycle (which hopefully starts next week, I told him I’d sacrifice being in on Christmas if he’d let me be out for New Year’s Eve). Although he’s not happy with the quality, he did say that from what he could make of the results, I’m still progressing along very nicely. This new set of scans will be able to clear up some confusion about things they found in the scan that made them a little concerned. We’ll see how it goes, hopefully I’m doing as well as I was with the 2nd set of scans I had to check my progress. But I guess that I’m exactly where they want me to be, and that’s a great thing!

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | December 6, 2009

When stupid people type out their ignorance.

First, before I get started, I just want to say how absolutely thrilled I am to be home!! Sleeping in my own bed last night was just like Heaven! Now moving on.

Remember that one time when I first started my blog? Yeah, way back when after I wrote a post entitled Cancer does not know deserving? I had told you that while no one listed in that particular post actually deserved to get cancer itself, they most certainly deserved a life altering experience because their past (and current) behaviors at that time were in need of a good shaking up. They were in desperate need of a personality make-over because the people they present themselves as are, well for lack of a better term, they’re assholes.

I will admit however, that as of now one of those people has been showing a lot of behaviors that move towards a more mature, and selfless mind (I can guarantee you though that it isn’t Julie).

Last night on the BlogCatalog.com discussion groups, I had this genius of a guy (note: emphasize the sarcasm on genius) named Drjay1966 insult me in a forum. Now typically, just because you insult me in some online forum, doesn’t mean I’m going to put you on public blast in a blog post. Chances are, if I actually take the time call you out (no matter what the reason), you either said or did something seriously rude to me. I mean really, really rude.

Like Drjay1966 for example! There was a post in one of the discussions regarding suicide (Suicide: Bravery or Cowardly?), and I left my thoughts on there (to sum it up, I wrote that I thought suicide is selfish because the person committing suicide doesn’t realize that there’s always someone out there who has it worse off). After everything I’ve been through, I know this all too well, so that was my heartfelt take on it.

So this genius responds with (and I quote): “Are those the only choices? How about a reaction to unbearable pain?”

My response: “A reaction to unbearable pain? So are you telling me I should’ve considered suicide as an option when I was diagnosed at stage 4 cancer? Wow, that sure is optimistic of you to think that way. Not….”

Then the douchebag has the nerve to say (and I quote, as in I copied and pasted): “No, I’m not saying anybody should do anything. I’m saying people do consider it, and do it, because they feel unbearable pain, which, apparently, you didn’t. We all experience things in different ways. And you might try experiencing a little compassion.”

Holy shit I almost hit the roof! The nerve this sniveling little prick has to 1) assume I have not once been in unbearable emotional and physical pain from my ordeal since May (not to mention having to watch my family and friends’ hearts break over this) and 2) that he assumes I have absolutely no compassion whatsoever.

Needless to say, I said a few choice words to put that asshole in his place! Hopefully the naive little shitbag will now crawl away into some blog hole somewhere and disappear so no other people who have experienced real pain have to worry about his ignorance ever again. This is officially one more person who I think could use a life-altering change, whether it be cancer or whatever else may bring you face to face with your mortality in order to make you a better person.

With all that aside, I fully plan on spending my first full day home from the hospital today relaxing and taking it easy. Maybe I’ll also go for a quick bike ride. ;) Hopefully I’ll get my scan results by tomorrow (I’m starting to worry a little as to why I haven’t been updated on them yet).

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | December 4, 2009

Holiday blog cheer.

For those who have checked my blog the last few days, I’m sure you’ve noticed that “snow” has been falling. WordPress has this neat feature where from December 2nd-January 4th, you can have snowfall on your blog.

Having grown up in Southern California my whole life, snow was not something I got to really experience. I’ve only been around real snow 3 times in my whole life, and even still I haven’t experienced snowfall. Being able to have it on my blog makes for a small, but still really nice and fun winter holiday treat. :)

Anyways I should (hopefully) be home by Saturday, if all goes well.

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | December 3, 2009

Shouldn’t you be ticking?

Once upon a time a long time ago, not in a foreign land where a princess lived but rather in the dry and dirty place that is known as Riverside where I used to live, there was a little me who was a little girl (yeah, this was ages ago, really) who was once 7. Unlike most 7 year olds, though, I wasn’t really into princess things (actually I typically refer to it as princess shit because fairy tales are stupid, but we’ll go with things because it’s sounds much nicer). However, in some version of once upon a time, I used to dream (in some similar manner the way a princess might) of meeting prince charming and having a fairytale wedding.

Ok actually fast forward 9 years to when I was 16 (and a naive high school sophomore) because that’s when I actually began to entertain thoughts of getting married one day and having lots of babies. When I was 7, I was actually more concerned about playing with my ninja turtle action figures and boys were nothing more than carriers of cootie infestations.

How so much can change in 10 years!! No really, a lot has changed in 10 years. A decade later, I am no longer that naive teenager, so intent on believing in true love and thinking I had a soulmate out there that I’d marry and make a family with one day. Instead all you’ll find is a formerly jaded 20-something trying to figure out if she’s really ready for 30, because maybe 30 isn’t as old as she once thought but 40 still is.

Yet here’s the kicker. The older I get, the less and less interested I get in a fairytale wedding. Or any wedding. Period. Children? Out of the question. Sorry, but the idea of having some heavy rock (that feels like a ball-and-chain) weighing down my poor ring finger and having my stomach (and vag) stretched beyond their limits just so I can pop out a needy, crying, dependent little creature that will always be crying “Mommy Mommy, feed me/Mommy Mommy, play with me/Mommy Mommy, love me” for some guy that will probably leave me about 20 years later for a younger version of me then just puts the sickest and heaviest feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Now, I’ll be honest. Most of my friends have been married since their (very) early twenties, and I have friends my age who are already parents. I also have friends that are currently engaged and planning their weddings. I have friends who are currently (or are already) divorced. Problem is, there used to be a time where I would look around and feel a little left out. Especially because once upon a time, when I was 22, I fell in love with a guy and actually wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Oh yeah, and have his babies (someday).

Four years later, I can guarantee you I no longer feel that way about him. I no longer feel that way period. Looking around now, when I see my friends married off or doing their parent “thing,” it kinda makes me feel like the world is playing a big joke on me and for whatever reason I’m missing the punch line. Instead of feeling longing when watching these people wondering when my day will come, I watch them and wonder to myself: “Really? Are you kidding me? Is that seriously your life and how on Earth do you not feel suffocated by it?” It terrifies me now to think that’s what is required for happiness.

I’m not ready for all that.

Sure, 30 is coming up a lot quicker than I expected. A little too “quicker” than I’d like it to. Yet I still have 3 years of my twenties left. Plus if you look at the bigger picture, I actually had to take an entire year off of my twenties (and then some) to fight for my life. Um, I want that year back! I wasn’t ready to take a break from living life just to fight to keep living it. I wasn’t ready to put my life on hold. And if you remember, I already went through the whole belly stretching experience. Granted it resulted in a tumor and not a baby, I still suffered a lot of the same things a pregnant woman does since having the belly and undergoing chemo (believe me, I had 2 friends pregnant at the same time and we’ve since compared notes).

Quite frankly, I don’t ever want to go through that again. It was painful, uncomfortable and good grief did I feel unattractive. That was hard to take considering I’m normally very tiny and look great in my clothes. Besides, once the tumor is gone, it’s gone. I don’t have to worry about making sure it’s healthy or raising it to be a decent and functioning member of society. I have enough trouble looking out for myself, let alone being able to put my selfishness on hold for an entire 18 years+ just to raise a kid. Hell, I didn’t want to take even 1 year off just to get rid of a tumor, but I’m doing it! Besides, what’s really 1 year compared to 18 or more?

And the whole husband thing? No thanks. I’ve already had the joy misery of having to experience what it’s like to meet someone you could spend the rest of your life with, and then losing that person. Psh, and I always thought cancer would be tough. :|

So it is, with a biological clock that has (thankfully?) been silenced, I look forward to spending the next 3-4 years and then some enjoying the (legally) single and child-free lifestyle I’ve come to so deeply and desperately love.

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | December 2, 2009

For those who are curious.

Once I get out of the hospital and settled in back home, I’ll be adding a new page to my blog with information on the type of cancer I have. Also, I’ll put up the schedule I usually have for chemo and other related information.

A lot of people ask me questions about what kind of cancer I have, how many rounds of chemo, what’s it like, when will I be done, etc. With the new page, you’ll be able to read up on it and get a first hand look as to what my life with cancer is like.

Stay tuned….

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | December 1, 2009

The gift that shouldn’t keep on giving.

December 1st is observed by most as being World AIDS Day. Therefore, I thought it highly appropriate to post on the subject, as this is something I’ve always taken to heart.

Earlier this week, while browsing through other blogs, I stumbled across the most interesting (and to say the least, shocking) post I’d seen in quite some time. In short? A post about people who go looking for, and spreading, the HIV/AIDS virus. Willingly.

Pierre Le Roux, blog author of Warfare: The Delightful and Dreary Sides of Gay Life, wrote the post (found here) regarding people (gay and straight) who both are aware they have the HIV/AIDS virus and deliberately infect others and those who are willingly seeking to be infected by the virus. The point of the post made it clear, however, that it wasn’t in reference to people who infect others while not telling them. The people who are being infected deliberately choose to try and become infected with HIV/AIDS.

When I read this, I almost fell out of my seat. And quite honestly? I didn’t really believe it at first. Not because I thought Pierre was being dishonest or anything (not at all), but rather because I can’t believe there are people out there that would actually want this, that would actually choose this. Not only because I know people who have HIV/AIDS, or because I have loved ones in the gay community that have lost their other loved ones to this virus. It’s because as someone who is suffering themselves from something as equally devastating (cancer), I could never, ever imagine wanting this for myself. Never in a million years would I deliberately go out and get cancer. Just as never in a million years would I ever want or go looking to get HIV/AIDS for myself, either.

For the record, don’t go thinking I’m some HIV/AIDS hating person who discriminates against those who have it. Number one, I am not one of the ignorant people out there that think this is a “gay problem.” Believe me, I’ve encountered these people, and I find them disgusting. Not to mention, the people who are currently at the highest risk of contracting it at the moment are African-American women that are my age, living in below poverty line conditions (this was told to me by the person who was drawing my blood at the time I was getting tested after I found out The Ex cheated on me, and I was concerned about the risk this had put me at for contracting any sexually-related disease). This information may have changed since, so don’t quote me. Also, I’m well aware that this isn’t something contracted through sex alone (you’re talking to someone who’s had a million and one blood transfusions since my diagnosis of cancer), but I also know better than to think you can get this from saliva alone or even a hug. It saddens me that more people don’t realize this.

I do everything I can to educate myself on HIV/AIDS (though I’m sure I have much more to learn), and never once have I thought less of anyone who had the virus upon them telling me they do. I’ve always done what I can to protect myself from it, including getting tested regularly, in hopes that I can inspire others to do the same. I’ve always felt strongly about this “disease,” ever since I was little and remember hearing the stories of Ryan White in the papers or on t.v. too. Oh yeah, I remember. In case you don’t, this poor kid got AIDS from a blood transfusion, and he suffered some pretty terrible discrimination as a result. Also, I do realize that it is still a great concern within the gay community, and I do admit that sometimes I get a little worried for my friends (as I’ve made a point to make many gay friends because let’s face it, I’m a fruit fly to the core).

To think though, people wanting this? I’m sorry, but that sickens me, because I do not think these people realize the magnitude of their actions. I wonder if they’d be just as willing to go get cancer? Probably not. If you read this post (and the comments), it lists a lot of explanations why these people are doing it. I suppose you could say they’re rationalizing their thought process behind it, though it does make me think back to a quote I recently heard: “You can’t rationalize without ‘lies’” (or something like that). But then again I can’t help but think that this could also possibly be Darwin’s theory at work (although I never was one to give the guy much credit for anything). Guess we’ll have to wait and find out.

Last, but not least, here’s to all those out there living with HIV/AIDS: May you have a long, happy and healthy life always! Completely regardless of why you have it. You’re all the bravest people there are.

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | November 30, 2009

Round 10 has now begun.

After a pretty very blissful 3½ weeks without chemotherapy, I’m sorry to say that the time has come for me again. The time where an entire week of my life is spent in a hospital room, hooked up to that metal stand they hang all my baggies on, where I’m so high on Benadryl and morphine that I can’t function, I’m throwing up everything and anything, plus I’m so weak I’m not that motivated to even get out of bed. Yeah, that time is back again.

Hopefully it will be over quickly, as I’m really just not that interested in feeling shitty again. Especially when I felt more like myself than ever before, felt the way I used to feel before all of this even started. Or at least, what I think I used to feel like when I felt “normal.” I’ll do my best to post as the week goes on. We’ll see.

Regardless though, I’m pretty glad that I do have the Benadryl and morphine to make this week a nice blur so that the time passes a lot quicker. ;)

It’s also nice to know that I’ve got 10 down, 7 to go.

Also, for future reference to all you super awesome people that read and comment my blog, I will eventually start posting open letters. When I had my anonymous blog (I’ve actually been blogging for years, surprise!), I had a secondary blog full of open letters that I wrote to everyone and anyone. Needless to say a lot of people found it entertaining, so I hope to have some up on my blog to share very soon. Keep an eye out! ;)

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | November 29, 2009

Last day for this round could’ve been better.

Today is not the day I expected it to be and I’m kinda pissed about it. Mostly because I have this wonderful horrible cold to thank for it. First I wasn’t able to attend church, as my mom didn’t think it was a good idea because she thought I was pushing myself too much. She thought that because I had also intended on going to Derek’s grandpa’s house for a 3rd Thanksgiving dinner afterwards. However waking up in the state I did this morning, going out at all wasn’t that great of an idea. On top of the sore throat and body aches I had acquired over the last few days, I also woke up congested.

I just couldn’t stay in the house all day, though. Not when I have to be in the hospital all this coming week. My dad offered to take me to Bed, Bath and Beyond at Bella Terra because I wanted to pick up some new bath towels and a matching washcloth. Unfortunately him and brother S took all the fun out of it for me, since they insisted on teasing me because even though I found the EXACT color towels (with the perfect feel and softness) I was looking for, they were a little too out of my price range for what I wanted to spend ($30 per towel? no thanks!). Then they kept suggesting that I get the $4.99 towels (that were as rough as a rock, thank you very much!) and what’s wrong with this ugly, dark shade of blue for your bathroom? Then they tried dragging me to 2 different stores (Kohl’s and Burlington Coat Factory) to see if they had towels. They did of course, but Kohl’s again had towels I didn’t want to spend that much on (I found a cute design on one set in the right colors, but they were too expensive) and Burlington had all rough (and ugly) towels. That experience made me wish Cameron had been there to help, because he would’ve helped me pick out some cute bathroom accessories, too. :|

We stopped at Fresca’s on the way home (off of Edinger and Goldenwest I think), which none of us had eaten at before. Needless to say, none of us will be eating there again. After all the food wasn’t really the greatest, plus I think it’s total crap that they charged us for a side of guacamole, but didn’t actually give us the guacamole. Luckily enough I also had the time (and energy) to bike to Starbucks real quick to get myself a hot coffee before it got too dark. Plus, the bike ride made me feel better about the day, so at least something positive (aside from the delicious holiday gingerbread white chocolate mocha I had from Starbucks) came out of all of it. And like I’ve said before, my holiday Starbucks tumbler really puts me in a festive mood.

Really though I wish this day had been better; church always makes me feel great, I’d have loved to have spent time with Derek and his family and it sure would’ve been nice to get some useful help from anyone on getting some really nice bath towels (especially because the one and only bath towel I have left is awful and the wash cloth is no longer in that great of a condition). Maybe, hopefully, the rest of the night will be better.

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | November 27, 2009

How my best Thanksgiving went.

My Thanksgiving was absolutely, insanely, ridiculously fun and perfect. First, I took a nap when we (my parents and I, my brothers both took off in brother D’s car) got to our destination. We ate at their long time friend’s place, who us kids have always called “Nanny” Nick (he used to help take care of us, diaper changes included). I hadn’t slept well and we got up super early to get out to Rancho Cucamonga so I ended up accidentally dozing off on the couch. When I woke up, I played a game of pool with brother S as they had a pool table (and a beer pong table!) in their backyard.

About 2 ½ hours after we arrived, dinner was ready. I stuffed myself full of turkey, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts, green beans, stuffing and gravy. Plus 2 beers. ;) Of course, I also went back for seconds. Actually I think I ate more than anyone, but hey it’s all good, especially since I have chemo next week. After about an hour – an hour and a ½, it was time for dessert. My mom makes the most best homemade cheesecake ever so of course I had to have some of that. Then while trying to watch the Raiders/Cowboys game, I slipped into a food coma and went down for nap #2 (oops!).

Immediately following my nap, I grabbed a 2nd slice of the most best homemade cheesecake ever and proceeded to play a game of beer pong with brother D, brother S and one of Nanny Nick’s step-sons. Normally I’m actually pretty decent at beer pong, but I woke up with a headache and only made 1 shot (totally embarrassing). Thankfully brother S was able to keep us going to victory.

Following beer pong, I went to the garage where everyone else was playing darts. I attempted to give it a go, but due to learning the very high risk I posed of hitting someone (anyone) in the head/face/neck with a dart, I decided that probably wasn’t really the game for me. So I decided to grab another beer from the fridge (no worries, I made a point to pace myself, especially because I didn’t want my mom to freak out) and watch everyone else play darts.

Once the night was drawing to a close, my parents, Nanny Nick, his wife Michelle, Nick’s daughter Sam, my parents and myself were all in the kitchen reminiscing of good times past + old funny stories (like the one time when brother D and I were 1 and 2 respectively, Nick and my dad somehow managed to blow up our brand new big screen; or the time when I ate my mom’s contact lenses and Nick took me in another room to get me to confess because I was afraid of my mom getting mad so she proceeded to call her optometrist who told her to just wait a day because I’d poop them out and I did). Talk about a good time and a laugh. Then it was time to get home.

Today was really great as well. I took a much needed (but quick) bike ride to Starbucks. Since we didn’t have the usual Thanksgiving leftovers, my parents thought it would be fun to hold a mini Thanksgiving feast for dinner. I had seconds (again!). ;) Derek also came over, too. He is so sweet; he spent the earlier afternoon helping me put up my Christmas decorations in my bedroom (I always put them up the day after Thanksgiving), as I absolutely love having my room decorated along with the rest of the house. Whether or not our entire house will be decorated this year though unfortunately remains to be seen. However as the day went on, he started to feel unwell. I told him to get in my bed where he’s been resting all day/evening, and like a good girlfriend, I brought him a nice hot cup of tea and have done what I can to make him feel as comfortable as possible. After all, he’s been doing everything he can to take care of me these last many months I’ve been sick.

Now the night is winding down, I’ve watched Ghost Adventures (a fave show of mine on Travel Channel), written a blog post, prepared my nightly cup of tea and now it’s time to watch Dahmer (the movie) with my parents. Can’t wait to see what the weekend has in store for me as my last days before chemo come to an end.

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Posted by: Heather Leigh | November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving!

One of my 2 favorite holidays is Thanksgiving (the other is New Years Eve, but we’ll get to that at a later point). I think a day that revolves around not only giving thanks, but eating some seriously hardcore amounts of delicious food is just awesome. Also, I think I have much, much more to be thankful for than most people. After all, I’m still alive.

Like most people have probably done, I’ve decided to create and share a list of the things I’m most thankful for this year:

  • To be alive: After finding a tumor in my belly/pelvis that grew so big so quickly that I looked 9 months pregnant within 3 weeks (imagine that on a 5′3″/105lbs. body), spending 9 days in ICU intubated on a ventilator + heart monitor + tube to drain my bowels since they were blocked and shutting down by said tumor, a month in the hospital and basically almost dying (the doctor my dad now calls the Grim Reaper told my dad on the Friday of the 9 days I was intubated that they hadn’t expected me to live past that previous Wednesday)….you can pretty much be sure positive I’m most thankful for even being around for Thanksgiving this year. I definitely have to give a huge thanks to God on that one. And every single person who took the time to visit me in the hospital.
  • For my medical team: They haven’t, and won’t, give up on me. Helps take the fear of this long, daunting treatment away. Plus all the nurses and other staff I’ve gotten to know have such big hearts, they’re really good people. They have to deal with some hard situations every day, and yet they’re genuinely interested in helping you get better. It’s a lot easier to tough the week out when you deal with good people, instead of cranky people who hate their job. They make my hard weeks easier.
  • Spending Thanksgiving at home: Instead of spending it hooked up to a bunch of chemicals and inside of a hospital room, I get to be with family and friends. Such a plus, to think I get to be at home and well enough to eat. You never realize how much you take that for granted until it’s put right in front of you.
  • New beach cruiser: Biking (along with writing) is a passion of mine. To wonder if I’d ever bike again was hard. Now? To own a bike that is so perfect for me it’s unreal, and to ride it, gives me so much sense of purpose and I’m thankful for that.

  • For my church family: If not for them, and their prayers, my progress would be no where near the stage it is at now. Not even close. And of course, I’m uber thankful for every single person who has been praying for me at this time, regardless of their faith. It all helps me at the end. Thank you to everyone at Hope Chapel at HB for your prayers and well wishes, and always asking how I’m doing every time I make it to service (and being understanding when I can’t). :)
  • Boyfriend, Derek: At 24, most guys prefer dating casually, and aren’t ready (or interested) in spending the time needed to invest in a serious relationship. Whenever he could, he’d visit me at the hospital (as much as work would permit). He came to see me and sat by me in ICU. When I was intubated, he held my writing notepad for me and did anything I asked him to based on what I needed. He helped me to the bathroom when I needed it, he still cleans out my puke bucket for me (regardless of how disgusting it smells/looks) no questions asked and without hesitation. He takes me to appointments and spends the night in the hospital when my parents can’t. I’ve never known so much understanding from anyone than I’ve gotten from him during this time. And I’m most thankful for his own words – “Hun, I love you. Look at it this way, if you hadn’t gotten sick, we wouldn’t have broken up. So I see no reason why we would just because you got sick.”
  • My best friend, Cameron: This guy spent almost every day at my bedside when he found out I was sick and admitted to the hospital. And when I was in ICU? He came immediately + was there every single day, all day (and then some). He held my hand, he wore his Dolce and Gabbana dog tag because I have one too (but his has diamonds ;) ), and he knew I’d recognize and react to it. Even before I got sick, this guy saved my life. Whether it was because he let me show up at his doorstep at all hours each time my ex broke my heart, or he carried my completely wasted self out of a bar so no one would bother me, this guy has been the most genuine, honest, real, non-judgmental, generous and incredible human being I’ve ever been lucky enough to meet and know. Let alone to call him my best friend. Cameron is one of the reasons I’m motivated to get up in the morning when all this feels like it’s becoming too hard.
  • My best friend, Heather (G.): Not everyone, especially at 26, can say they’ve had an absolute best friend for almost 20 years (currently at 17 going on 18 years! :D ). Marriages hardly last that long these days. Yet this girl has stuck by me (if it were me, I’d feel like I was “dealing” with me because of the crazy things I’ve done) for that long. She’s watched me act seriously stupid while high on drugs, show people what a bitch I can be because of how mean I get when I’m drunk, make horrible mistakes with guys, been there for me when I’ve had to confide extremely terrible thoughts and feelings I didn’t know how to handle. We’ve experienced the trials and enjoyments of elementary school and junior high together, survived the difficulty of dealing with me moving away just before high school and to this day she’s the kind of person I want to strive to be like. She visited me almost every day in the hospital, too. In fact, I remember one time that she came with her mom. The looks on their faces, and seeing them fighting so hard not to cry, was probably one of the most difficult moments for me. I never, ever want Heather to know pain so to see that look killed me. She’s my most perfect best friend ever. No one I’ve met is as beautiful and wonderful as she is. Heather is another reason I’m motivated to wake up each morning.
  • Family: I don’t even want to think of how hard this has been on my parents, my brothers and my extended family. Not in a million years could I imagine being in their position, so their strength helps me deal with this and feel like that no matter what happens, it’s all ok in the end. They’re always at the hospital every day, they constantly check on me, see if I need anything, clean out my puke bucket, get me whatever food I need so I don’t have to eat the hospital food. They do everything. I owe them my life.
  • God/Jesus: First of all, He must have some crazy plan for me if I’ve lived through all I did back in May. Plus He died on the cross so that we could live. What’s not to be thankful for about that?!

With so much for me to be thankful for, I’d really like to hear what things other people are thankful for in their life. Feel free to leave a comment if you care to share what makes today special for you, the people and things in your life that make this Thanksgiving more than just another holiday or this year just another year. :)

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